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| Lily Cat |
Dear Lily
It is with great
reticence that I write this letter of complaint. You have always been a great
little pet, if a little withdrawn and aloof at times. I must admit your mousing
abilities are just a joy to behold and second to none, you even out shine
Cheeky, although to be fair she is quite an old lady now. You must single
pawedly be reducing the rodent population on Orkney by an incredible amount.
However, while on
that subject I feel I must complain on both my behalf and Sadies. Last night
was a very unpleasant experience for us all. To be awoken by the extremely loud
squealing of your last victim was bad enough but did you have to continue to
play with it causing it to continue squealing loud enough to wake the dead, for
a prolonged period of time. It kept me awake and disturbed Sadie no end who
also felt the need to keep nudging me to inform me of your errant and
disturbing behaviour. Perhaps if you had
not chased the poor little thing round and round her bed she might have been
able to settle back down in peace. I
must admit I had no idea such a little thing could make such a loud noise and I
was at first concerned you had decided to bring a rather larger animal, of the
rodent persuasion, into our bedroom.
To top it all off I
must protest vehemently at the fact that you then allowed said mouse to run
under our wardrobe and you have made no effort whatsoever to extricate it from its supposed place of
safety.
I am writing this
letter in the hope that you will hear our pleas and will not repeat your disgraceful
behaviour again. I hold out little hope of you paying the slightest attention
to our wishes but if you can find it in your little heart to allow us to get a
good nights sleep tonight we would really appreciate it.
Thanking you in
anticipation.
Your substitute
Mistress
Mary
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